Two Boys, Two Deaths, Only One Outrage

Something to think about if we are still living in here....Two Boys, Two Deaths, Only One Outrage

SAD SAD DAY

Today is Mother's Day.....but a sad one for me! Cos i keep having fights with my two elder children....It started yesterday evening....came back from the salon and then wanted to take shower to go out for dinner where it is free RM200 voucher from my boss for the cny dinner deduction of incorrect dish given....my husband had a bad day....a bad lunch date with his boss which discouraged him so much in his work....he did not feel like going for the dinner but cos the expiry is due on 10/5/2010.....so not much choice.....the eldest has not been happy cos no computer to play the whole day.....shout at the brother.....all the mess on the floor the whole day...no one bother to pick up anything and it really made me go bezerk!.....So shouted at them.....then he accused me for lying and not telling my hubby i bought the computer...well i did not tell him that day i bought but i have been hinting and asking for so many times but always no reponse and he did say i can buy it so i bought!....The thing is he has no right to make judgement...trying to do and get him the thing he wanted most for him and he don't understand and thinks i owe it to him!!!.....The other one is getting worse sticking to the tv and won't move...and always wearing the unsuitable clothes to all occasions!.....It really caused me to shout out in vulgar words but i did that in the toilet and he overheard and he start accusing me again that i should not be saying it la and one whole bullshitTT!!!!
I am so so so very angry and was speaking in tongues to my Father in Heaven! So what! now they want to accuse me for all things that i did was WRONG!!!......This morning.....sometimes good....sometimes....bad......they do all the little cards....bookmarks....flowers...sms...wordings...and say "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!"....well, sometimes i just want them to live harmoniously....helping each other.....loving each other.....and talking and be happy with each other and not otherwise!!! I just pray that they will understand and remember this concept that they are all in ONE family....God's family and they have been
created and put to be together by God to be in this family and i do know sometimes i failed in my job as mother to lead them.....but ....from today on.....i pray to you LORD...please help me make amends and be more in control of my temper .....to be more mature in handling all situations and guide these children to the path that you have prepared for them and they will learn to be good persons and grow to be what you wanted them to be and me the instrument to guide them accordingly. Thank you LORD for this release and may i also be a good, understanding, supportive wife who is in control of temper and will make our home a refuge for my husband to come back for solace and comfort and be re-charged in the worldly terms and that he continues to be putting his faith and looking to you LORD for his strength....LORD please fill him with your HOLY SPIRIT and may your presence be with him throughout each and everyday so that he can get by and get on at his work place to fulfill the master and servant relationship in this world while he continues to be a servant of you LORD JESUS! I ask and pray all these in Jesus's most precious mighty name! AMEN!

PURCHASE OF COMPUTERS

Sigh! no buy also say i never buy....buy....already....also not good enough!!! Cannot play game lah...cannot go up the net la....not fast la....slow until like"pee".....this is the last straw!!!....That is so much i can take this crap from him!!!......I just fail to understand these teenagers nowadays....what is so great about their online games....even their little brother also wants to play the kor kor's game!!! Never mind about that....but when the little brother cannot score....he shouts at the brother and then.....the face displays the "unforgiving" looks.....which i really dislike so much....as though the whole world owes him millions!
Well, another didn't want to response and angry because never consult him....but when ask him refuse to give positive response as to buy or not buy.....so .....i decide to buy! Afterall, he did say that to get from Dell! I did mention will get it soon....only checking for the price and the dealer to buy from only......so what is the big deal?! Anyway....all not happy....this is yesterday's post! But this happened since 1 may the day the comp was purchased!

FINANCE DISHEARTENS

Today, just reminiscing on the conversation of a few days ago with my husband on some issue pertaining to finance. First there was the knock on my car and i manage to collect the reimbursement from the other party at fault. As he has not given me the allowance for the month, i had used this reimbursement to finance my monthly expenditure and when he asked that i keep the reimbursement for the repair of the car...i mentioned i can do that provided i get my allowance which has not been given for the month and he went bezerk....that he did not want to hear about those things.....what are those things?~!!!!....it is something he has to face up to that he ought to give....i have been contributing and contributing to the family for the kids's glasses when they need one due to increase in power.....uniform....cos old ones cannot wear and new ones for those going to secondary school and so on....well....i never ask that he pay back....now this monthly allowance is for the tuition fees...bus fare....even for the marketing of food....all i mean is just let me have this reimbursement to use and you take of the repair at the same amount later on...is that too much to ask?!....Sometimes ....i wonder......get married for what....just to get another financial burden?.....thank you so much.....no need for it.....!!!....YOu may have your financial difficulties having to pay for the house, utilities, installment for car and other electrical appliances.....but what is your story about why being so generous to your staff but so stingy with your family members!.....i know as christian wife must submit to your husband but what if he is always taking advantage when he should be providing for us?.....Well...just want to release my vent up anger and disappointment......Want to buy something for own use also need to find the cheapest and think twice before buying.....sometimes it is so pathetic to think of the situation.......sigh!......never mind....pray that LOrd Jesus heard my plight and will provide for us. Thanks for the release....Amen!

TEENAGERS!!!

Well.....it's been quite a while since i expressed my release......i'm more calm about the traffic now but it's now that i 'm always quarrelling with my eldest teenage son....he's always got a "smart" answer for anything you reprimand him and he tends to ridicule his young brother.....and it makes me sick and heated up.
Then i go bezerk.....gosh....then i end up caning him! I know i should not but he really makes me so mad! He's so lazy....never irons his own uniform....not doing his chores....always wanting to be going out to his friend's place to play games...computer ones....!!! FRust...!!!
Don't know how to deal with him at times......